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Certified Probably Friendly
Golden Retriever
Mostly golden. Sometimes confused.
$499 Mood: Calm
SINCE LAST TUESDAY
100%
Mostly Healthy
PetsTM
Your trusted source for animals we found, purchased, inherited, or were left with. All pets come with paperwork. Some of it is relevant.
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Photo: received via fax. Quality may vary.
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Certified Probably Friendly
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BBB Rating: Pending Investigation
✓
FDA Approved (we assume)
⭐
4.7 Stars (self-reported)
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Encrypted with feelings
What Customers Are Saying
"The hamster only escaped twice."
—
Testimonials are 73% real. The rest are aspirational.
Available Pets
[Inventory: recalculating...] 🦜
Certified Probably Friendly
Parrot (Knowing)
Knows one secret. Will not say which.
$129 Mood: Watchful
🐢
Certified Probably Friendly
Mysterious Turtle
Does not blink. Has not blinked since 2019.
$89 Mood: Unknown
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Certified Probably Friendly
Cat (Senior Executive)
Likely owns the company. We work for her.
Free* Mood: Authoritative
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Certified Probably Friendly
Hamster v2
Improved model. Escapes less.
$24 Mood: Restless
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Certified Probably Friendly
Goose (Legal Standing)
Independent legal counsel included.
$349 Mood: Litigious
*Free with the purchase of two (2) senior executives.
Transparency Report†
43%
Trust Score
91%
Probability of Adventure
7
Number of Witnesses
12
Ongoing Investigations
† Numbers are honest. Definitions are not.
> System: Inventory recalculating...
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